A- Age: 28, and I don’t feel old because I’m almost 30. 30
is young, and I’m still a puppy in a world of bitches. Er… dogs?
B - Bed Size: Futon. Fuck you for teasing me with all this
‘bed’ talk. I want a real bed to sleep on. You people with your good night's sleep can kiss my left meat curtain.
C - Chore You Hate: Cleaning anything. At all. I’m the
anti-Mary Poppins. I hate doing dishes. I hate taking out the trash. I hate
picking things up. I hate rearranging furniture. I hate paying bills, too. Fuck
hard stuff. Adulthood blows.
D - Dad's Name: David
E - Essential Start to Your Day Item: Shutting off the
goddamn alarm. It’s far too chipper for 6:00 a.m. Maybe I’d be happier upon
waking if I could smash something, but my $150 phone coverage deductible says
otherwise. Jerks.
F - Favorite songstress: Kelly Clarkson. Love that woman. If
I could have her baby, I would.
G - Gold or Silver: Silver, white gold or platinum. Very
rarely will you see me donning anything with a yellow gold or bronze hue when
it comes to jewelry. Also, do you know how difficult it is to find emeralds set
in anything not yellow? Jeweler bastards.
H - Height: 6’0”. Plus heels sometimes.
I - Instruments you played: Ha, instruments. I am way too
stupid to read music notes.
J - Job Title: Website Quality Control Analyst I. That
sounds way fancier than it actually is, and it basically means I’m anal and
correct things that don’t necessarily need correcting. Sometimes I actually fix
shit, though. And it’s pretty cool.
K - Kids: 1 that I know of. Pretty sure I haven’t given
birth without my knowledge, though.
L - Living Arrangements: I live in a shoebox. From Kmart,
cause its ghetto. Stupid apartment.
M - Mom's Name: Noelle
N - Nicknames: Ash or Trashley. Yay for having an unoriginal
name.
O - Overnight Hospital Stay: Firing my fetus cannon and when
I had toxic shock syndrome.
P - Pet Peeve: All the little OCD things that Aaron enjoys
provoking. Like leaving time on the microwave, not changing the toilet paper
when you use the last of it, movie cases being out of alignment or sequels not
being placed next to one another… The list goes on and on. I’m batshit crazy.
Q - Quotes You Like: If you’re going to be real with
someone, be prepared for them to be real in return.
R - Right or Left Handed: Righty tighty. Which has nothing
to do with my crotch.
S - Siblings: 4. And I only really speak to one of them on a regular basis. I am Facebook friends with another sibling, and don't speak to the other two.
T - Time You Wake Up: During the week, 6:00 a.m. On the
weekends/my days off, however late I feel like it. Unless Caden decides
otherwise.
U - Umbrella: I haven’t owned an umbrella in about 5 years.
I’m not the Wicked Witch of the West, for fuck’s sake.
V - Vegetable You Dislike: Onions, tomatoes, mushrooms,
peppers… I basically eat like a two year old. Give me some chicken nuggets and
French fries, and I’m good. I’m good.
W - Ways You Run Late: Usually ‘cause I’m lazy and wait
until the last possible minute. And that’s just when I start getting ready to
leave.
X - X-rays: When I got pneumonia, when I had TSS - they used
a portable x-ray to insert a catheter into my vein to inject antibiotics as
close as possible to my heart, when I had a broken ankle, and when I had a
kidney stone.
Y - Yummy Food I Make: Parmesan tilapia seems to be my most
popular dish.
Z - Zodiac: Taurus. I’m a stubborn motherfucker.
